i simply cant afford it.

i'm going on a diet starting tomorrow.need to get back into shape as soon as possible.i have been delaying my 'get fit' plan as my body is still not ready for any physical activities yet(sbb caesarian).not that i've never tried to start earlier with some light physical activities,da pernah da, but it resulted in severe stomach ache and i did not dare to try again since then.

now it has been four and a half months and i cannot take it anymore.since the doctor told me that physical activities can only start after six months of the operation,i'm going to start with controlling my diet first.am not going to simply eat anything that my heart desires anymore,instead i'm going to stick to one diet plan.oh,semoga berjaya ya kamu.

i'm sick and tired of trying my old clothes only to find out that they dont fit.there are a lot of bulging body parts and sadly to say it multiplies by the day now.i simply cannot afford to go out and buy new clothes now,can i?not with a baby to raise,no.i'd rather save the money for his educational toys and what not.

to make things worse,my body starts to ache here and there now that my weight's uncontrollable,especially my knees.everytime i want to get up even from a chair,my knees ache terribly.oh how painful.seriously.rasa mcm nak nangis sbb rasa mcm org tua.but i know it's because my knees cannot support my increasing weight.haish.serious.again,i cannot afford to be sick,not with a baby to take care of.i wouldnt want someone else to take care of aqeef just because i'm sick.it hurts me so.(kadang2, sgt penat jaga aqeef malam2, n pagi2,pass to mak atau maryam sekejap sbb nak take a nap pun da rasa gundah gulana bagai,apatah lagi kalau tak dpt jaga dia sbb sakit,nauzubillah).before things get worse,i better start for the sake of my health and aqeef's wellbeing.

also,i need to start now before things get worse.before i need professional help.no,i cant afford it.again.i'd rather save the money for my baby.but if its really needed,maybe we're going to get help.but for now, i would like try to resolve this by myself first.insyaAllah i can do it.just believe in yourself.YOU have to do it.its better to prevent than to cure mama aqeef,you can do it.i believe in u.

please focus.you simply can't afford to stay in your current weight.